Balancing the Different Archetypal Expectations in Motherhood
Nowadays moms are expected to be it ALL--the chauffer, nurse, the warrior, the spiritual gangsta, mediator, chef, goddess, career woman, personal shopper, maid, teacher--and while I'm SO here for striving to balance these archetypal roles as a mother in ways that are authentic to our beautiful soul, there's another side to this we should also be aware of.
While we are expected to have it all and make it look easy, this idea is also polluted with contradictory messaging like:
Be nurturing with your kids, but be tough and don't let 'em walk all over you!
Set boundaries, but don't piss anyone off!
Stay sexy, but not too sexy or else you're a slut!
Lose the baby weight, but don't rush it!
Go after your goals, but don't be too ambitious!
Be feminine, but don't let your feminist ideals go!
Be a great mom, but don't live for your kids!
Sigh.
I don't know about you, but I'm already tired just from writing this list. But the reality is that we as modern women are living this reality where many of us moms are shamed when we don't do motherhood , well...perfectly!
The new standard many of us have subconsciously taken on is that of effortless perfection.
I don't know about you, but I work hard. Motherhood is NOT always easy for me. I tirelessly invest my energy into my children, homeschooling, my passions and family and balancing all these archetypal identities is a practice I'm always striving to maintain and improve. There's nothing "effortless" about it.
So, this blog is to remind you that nah, girl, you're not crazy. The pressure for us to be, do, and have it all while making it look easy is at an all time high with social media. So here's my nugget of wisdom:
Don't try to be any. Other. Mom.
Don't try to do everything in this season.
Choose one or two life categories you want to master or simply improve, i.e. (fitness + marriage? work + self care?).
Next, create a simple plan of action. If it's wellness and marriage, maybe start a program like my MWH Mommy Makeover and make every Friday night date night with your partner?
In short, keep it as simple as you can to avoid overwhelm and ignore the people who have nothing helpful to say.
We don't have to balance every archetype in motherhood to be considered a good mom. We simply need to choose the categories we DO we want to illuminate in our lives and go all in on those.
Be the best mom you can be, and choose the roles you want to boss.
I can't wait to see you continue to shine.
Sending love your way.
Monica