I remember when I first had my son, Eliel—I was so in love with snuggling with him and caring for him (not to mention slightly overwhelmed by the sudden hormonal changes) that I completely neglected myself in the process of adjusting to my new role in motherhood. Afternoon would hit and I would suddenly realize that I hadn’t even eaten or showered! I’ve heard of scenarios similar to this by moms all around. Although it is common for many moms to ignore their own needs after having a baby does not make it alright or necessary. In short, motherhood doesn't have to equal martyrdom. With a little practice and positive intention, we too can overcome the feeling of guilt when we take the time to nurture ourselves.
In the beginning, I thought that the more I neglected my own “selfish” needs, the better mom and wife I was. Where did I learn this? I wondered. Seemingly unable to squeeze in time for showers, exercise, or cooking nutritious meals, the whole day would escape me between diaper changes, breastfeeding, cleaning, and snuggling with my bundle of joy.
But (and you knew that was coming), there's a big price to pay when mom neglects herself for everyone else around her.
She dries up. Loses that juice. No longer wakes up inspired. And resentment builds.
In short, everything that once made her attractive vanishes. She's abandoned her inner goddess--the part of her soul that is inspired, joyful, and authentically radiant.
When we let this happen to ourselves as women and mothers, the baby blues or depression is more likely to creep in. We may be able to fake the funk for society and others who seek to control us for a while, but the soul of a woman is powerful. She will revolt if ignored for too long.
So I urge you to forget what society has taught you about what a good mom has to look like or be like.
A good mom is simply a mother who cares for her cubs. And the best way we can do that is by first caring for ourselves. Nurturing your unique version of your inner goddess is one of the ways we do this.
Ways You Can Nurture Your Inner Goddess In Motherhood
Invest in Your Self Care
Aim to care for your beautiful body, mind, and soul. Do the workouts that work for your lifestyle. Aim to feed yourself foods that make you feel great. If you need ANY help in this arena, you're going to want to invest in my MWH Mommy Makeover Program. Trust me, you won't regret it.
Own Your Unique Identity as a Mom
Don't try to be like Sally down the street who appears to have it all together. You know, the mom who we think is perfect and whose kids never have meltdowns and whose house is always spotless? Nah. Own your unique identity as a mother. Your kids deserve to know their real mom, not a second-hand version of the mom down the block.
Wear What Makes You Feel Good
Some days for me, this is workout clothes. Other days, It's a freakum dress with 4 inch heels. But regardless what I'm wearing, my goal is to always feel good in it. Wear what makes you feel great and ditch or donate the rest.
One of the most detrimental forces we can embrace as women is comparing ourselves to others. Rebel against this bad habit and simply choose to love yourself right where you're at. Still want to lose a few pounds? Great. Still want to (finally) get your nails done? Cool. Still want to upgrade your wardrobe? Fine. But love yourself exactly where you're at while you're on the journey, will ya? You are beautiful inside and out and anyone who tried (or tries) to convince you otherwise simply was suffering from their own lack of self love and approval. Forgive them, forgive yourself, and keep shining!
Here's a few tips to hopefully inspire you to keep owning your inner goddess (even as a busy mama). I have so many more I want to share, so let me know if you want a part two.
If you want more tips like these, you'll definitely want to check out the resources below.
And as always, keep wearing those heels, mama. Keep going after those dreams and owning your self care as a busy mom.