Since sharing my post on Instagram of our recent move, I've received more private and public messages asking, "Monica, where have you been, girl?"
Although I've given brief answers to a many of you, I knew I eventually would want to share more in depth when I was ready. After almost talking myself out of it this morning, I realized sharing authentically might help a few mamas out there, so, here we go!
When I first started sharing my lifestyle on social six years ago, I had zero expectations. Zero. I just wanted to share the joy in my life as a mom, wife, and entrepreneur.
Then, to my surprise, I actually started to grow an organic community of tens of thousands of women. (Very proud to say my primary demographic of audience is over 90% women and moms!) Thank you for sharing my journey with my family and I! I truly appreciate your presence and addition to the Moms Wear Heels community.
Now fast forward to today--I'm a mom of two--Ariel (3) and Eliel (6), been married over a decade, and work from home as a fitness and lifestyle coach to other amazing mamas.
I am incredibly grateful for all of this--mainly my ability to stay home and be a full time mom for my kids. I wake up and thank God everyday for this blessing! Absolutely nothing is more important to me than my family.
And here's where my recent social detox comes up:
The past year for my family has been full of a lot of changes both personally and professionally. The most recent one being Elvis, my husband, has just landed an amazing job here in Texas, which of course, resulted in us packing up, leaving family, and planting new roots in another state!
We were all so excited for the change. Eliel even had everyone counting down in his kindergarten class the days until we left to Texas! Lol.
Meanwhile, I was still running my business from home which included coaching, working and collaborating with other brands, as well as some PR work for Elvis (he's got some big things coming up!!!) And I was starting to feel unusually exhausted. Run down. This was not like me. I realized that something had to change.
If you know me, you know I always have an abundance of energy. I am the life of the party. I love to wake up early, work hard, play hard, and go to bed with anticipation of the fun to be had the following day. So when fatigue, knee injuries from pushing myself too hard, and lack of clarity as to WHY I am doing what I was doing crept in, I knew I had to discipline myself to unplug and go within to recharge.
And as I write these words, my heart fills with joy. I could almost cry! I am so glad I gave myself permission to take time off. The past month or so has been so fulfilling. Taking the time to just BE with my kids without the pressure to capture--and share-- every moment, taking nature walks with Elvis and making plans for our future, settling into Texas life, cooking new and delicious recipes (from many cookbooks I've had covered with dust!), to reading my favorite books, to decorating our new home... you name it. Everything my soul has been wanting to do that I previously "didn't have time to do", I pushed to the forefront of my to do list.
Aside from enjoying a lot more family time, the other important activity I've given myself permission to do is to be with Monica! The past few weeks, I've been waking early to mediate, pray, seek guidance, and journal. These self care activities have always been of importance to me, but I've been making this (at least) an hourly daily ritual.
To the point where I even questioned if I ever wanted to get back to work!!! Haha.
But I'm here to assure you I shall.
We all have gifts and talents that are our duty (not an option) to share for the betterment of the world. While I think everyone deserves a vacation (even from work they love), my intuition has definitely let me know I will be getting back to work very soon! :)
I believe it is more than ok--it is a necessity to take time off time to time from "doing it all" or being a "supermom" to just be present. To check in and say, "Hey, self! It's me, ________. Just wanted to let you know I appreciate how hard you've been working. Love ya!"
I know you, like me, have felt the pressure to be that mom--the mom who can balance career, social media, family, household chores, and the endless list of daily tasks...
but I'm here to remind you, beautiful, that the idea of a 'supermom' is a fallacy. It ain't real. Many of the supermoms you see have a staff of people helping them to balance it all. So if you're like me and you are a one-woman-show (lol), then taking time to do an inventory of where all your time is going may help you as much as it helped me.
Here are some other tips I've learned the past few weeks for more joy and peace as a busy mom!
1) Take a social detox
You may not want a full month off, but how about 3-7 days? Try it and see how you feel! This one is a must if you want clarity on the next steps in your life, whether that be career related, relationship, or overall guidance on how YOU should be living your life. Our lives are meant to be amazingly unique, no two paths or destinies should be identical. Taking time off of social will help you focus solely on your own path, family, and get back in touch with your own unique values--without distractions.
2) Learn to say 'no'
Any other people- pleasers out there? Yea--recovering one right here. I've had to learn the hard-headed way that I cannot please everyone all the time. As the youngest in the family, I subconsciously took on the role of "make sure everyone is entertained and pleased!--i.e. distract from the inherent dysfunction in the home--and these invisible rules we made up as children leave imprints even as adults! Here's a hard, but freeing fact: you can't please everyone. And thank God we can't. I mean, how boring life would be if we were for everyone! Be proud that you are NOT for everyone. Be willing to refuse to water down your personality to please others. You are not here at this moment in time to conform to everyone else's standards. Be you. Learn to say no.
Because every 'yes' you give to others is a 'no' you're giving to your kids. (ouch! But this helps me to discern so much!)
3. Be honest with yourself
If your lifestyle stayed the same for the next 5 years, would that work for you? Would you need to increase your productivity, or are you being guided to slow down? The first answer you receive will be true for you. Trust it. For me, I was guided to simplify. Simplifying for me meant getting more organized, creating a schedule and sticking to it as best I could, getting back to why I starting Moms Wear Heels in the first place, and realizing I didn't have a staff yet, so I needed to scale down on my work load.
My goal in life is to look back when I'm 90 years old, and smile. PERIOD.
I refuse to leave with any regrets. My kids are this young only once. And these mommy moments are truly magical. And I want to spend as much time with them as possible. For this reason, I aim to include my kiddos into my workout routine and overall lifestyle, and will continue to show you awesome mamas how I do so!
While I plan on scaling down with work and taking more time to just be with my family, I will still be sharing workouts, vlogs, and more of what I hope is inspirational content for you to be a healthy, happy mom! It's my passion! And I'm looking forward to doing so!
Be sure to subscribe on my YouTube--we have a video coming out soon on our move to Texas as well as some announcements coming soon!
While I'm posting a bit less on the 'gram, I'm still posting! Be sure to check out my stories and page there as well for updates.
I love and appreciate you all! Thank you for checking in on me! I hope this blog cleared up any confusion as to why this mama took a break from social, and why she'll be back better than ever very soon.