When we were kids, the world was our oyster.
We rode bikes, jumped in muddy puddles, were as creative as our little hearts desired.
And then, by the grace of God, many of us became mothers.
We looked in our baby's eyes and suddenly everything in our world became about them; sometimes even to our own detriment.
I'm here to remind you of something today:
That you can be a great mom AND still make time for things that feed your soul. You can be an amazing mother and still wear your "heels".
My question for you is: what did you love to do before you were a mom that you maybe stopped due to lack of time or thinking it was "silly"?
Maybe you loved to sing.
...OR make new recipes and host dinners.
...or sew, dance, write, read juicy novels for the heck of it...
(You get the idea).
I refer to these practices as our "HEELS"; i.e. the things we do that lead us back into our authenticity; back into alignment with who God called us to be.
So as you think about those "heels" you may have put away collecting dust in the closet, check out these tips to throw them back on your feet unapologetically to start living your best life as a mother:
7 Tips to still rock your "heels" as a mom
Remind yourself that motherhood does not have to equal martyrdom.
You can be a great mom and still take time for self care...to fill your cup! In fact, it's vital! Have you ever had a thousand things to do on a given day and you were running on empty? Chances are, you weren't the nicest lady (or, maybe that's just me who gets weary when overwhelmed?) Gently affirm to yourself that when you make time for things that feed your soul, you are an even better mama to those beautiful babes.
Schedule time for your "heels"
Make it real. Don't compare your schedule to anyone else's. Our lifestyles are far too unique to do that! Do mornings work? Evenings? Think about it. Then, schedule in your 20, 30, 45 minutes (whatever works for you--even 10 minutes are better than no minutes) in your planner, and set an alarm on your phone. Your joy tank will thank you.
Set boundaries.
I know, you love your friends and your family. But know that it's okay to set a boundary up. No one knows your schedule or life like you, or just how busy you may be. Turn your phone on silent during your mom time. And ask for help when needed. Kay? Kay.
Don't monetize your "heels"
(At least not all the time!) For instance, maybe you get paid to write. I DON'T recommend your "heels" time to be for paid content! NO! Your mom time needs to be something your soul would do FOR FREE. Better yet, it needs to be something you would PAY to be able to do! For me, that might look like a really good book and cup of chai while I hear the birds chip (BLISS), or dancing to my favorite tunes like nobody's watching.
Go within.
I can already hear some of you beauties. But, Monica...I don't know what to do; where do I start??! Ok, fret not. This means you may have abandoned your true self for so long that you forgot what lights you up. My recommendation here is to think back to when you were 8 or 9. What did you love to do? Garden, go to the library, bike-ride? Think back to what you loved to do before someone told you it was silly to do as an adult (PS ignore people like this; they are just upset they don't give themselves permission to be creative anymore). Then, DO THAT THING; WEAR THOSE HEELS, MAMA!
Ask what you'd want for your daughter
Remind yourself that when your kids are older, they will be more likely to follow your example more than your words. And I often wonder, "Would I want my daughter to quit doing what she loves to do once she has her own children and makes me a grandma?" Heck no! So, why would I? I, like I'd want for her, would want to share my authentic self with my children so their memories would be rich, irreplaceable. My hope is that my daughter has a FULL, flourishing life, where she feels free to be her authentic self, even as a happy mama. Mistakes and all, I am doing my best to show her just this.
Get Creative
Maybe you don't have a lot of help around the house and you fear not having time for your passions. I get it. Then girl, get creative. Can you babywear while you paint? Get your pedicure in while you give the kids a bath? Set up the sprinklers for the kids while you read? Listen to your favorite podcast while you fold laundry? I have done all this and more to get my creative time in. In fact as I write this blog, I am nursing my youngest. Don't let excuses stop you from trying. When there's a will, there's a way.
...Well, friend! I hope this post was helpful.
And if you're brave and wear those "heels", i.e. take time for what feeds YOUR soul as a mom, take a pic and tag me on the 'gram. I'd love to cheer you on.
Your sis,
Monica