When I first became a mom in 2012 (thank you, Eliel!)--I was both elated with joy AND overwhelmed and ridden with guilt and confusion.
I mean, here I was--26 years old, one year away from getting my Bachelor's degree, restaurant owner and manager, and a temporarily retired dancer, hoping to get back in the game of performing.
How the heck am I supposed to be the best mom I can be for him and still go after my dreams...still be me? I wondered, suddenly angry that none of the dozens of parenting books prepared me for my crisis of identity.
I weighed the options. I teetered with the idea of giving up on all my goals and hobbies. Society and culture would definitely support that, I decided.
But I realized giving up on the passions that made me ME would be soulful suicide.
I reminded myself this was my one life as Monica--to do the things I decided I wanted to do before coming here.
I decided no amount of external approval was worth me giving up my DESTINY.
The good news is that 8 years later, there is a happy ending...well, a happy journey really, as we never really "arrive" at any destiny. Documenting my journey online as a multitasking mom fiercely committed to her authenticity, goals, and dreams paid off. I now have the awesome privilege of teaching other women how to balance motherhood with their dreams, and assist them in becoming their best selves with my fitness & lifestyle programs. Trust me when I tell you that staying in your lane (owning your unique gifts) PAYS OFF!
So, what are my tips to help YOU be the boss mom of your life? Check 'em out and share this blog with a friend if it helps!
1. Stop Conforming
Yep, I said it. You cannot be bold and follow your unique path in life if you're worried about what others are going to say or think about you. I've had "friends" in the past when I first started MWH laughing at the fact that I made videos online and shared them with the world. Well, now, I make a full time living doing just that and being creative. Everyday I wake up so GRATEFUL I get to be a hands on mommy and fulfill my creative nudges. Being courageous, authentic, and living unapologetically will inevitably piss other people who are NOT doing that off. You have to be so focused to your vision that their misunderstanding you won't affect you. Kay?
2. Own Your Gifts
What do you do better than most? What would YOU pay to be able to do daily? What does everyone come to you for? What did you do for hours on end, losing track of time as a kid? These are clues for the Universe of your GIFTS. Do some investigative work. Uncover old hobbies you buried in order to "be more of a grown-up". And, drumroll...activate your gifts again! Start painting again! Read that book. Take that dance class. Buy the sewing machine. Go back to school. Just do something in the direction of your authentic self. Warning: more peace, joy, and fulfillment in your life will occur!
3. Forget Fear
I really am not fond of fear and anxiety. Those little buggers have been trying to talk me out of my dreams since I can remember. Fear and Anxiety are smart suckers too--they'll mask themselves as "being sensible"...aiming to convince you that taking time for your hobbies and self care is frivolous. Don't let fear win. You have to be smarter than that energy. Become conscious of it. And consistently remind yourself that YOUR DREAMS MATTER. Your creative life matters. YOU matter as a mom! You don't have to be a martyr to be a good mom--sacrificing your hopes to care for your home.
Remind yourself this MWH Mantra as often as you need to:
You can be a great mom AND go after your dreams.
I hope this blog helped you in some way.
If it did, let me know on social tagging me! Share it with your community. Let's work together to spread the message: that moms can do the dang thing too.
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Let's continue to make this our best year yet.