I've been meditating a lot on the art of being yourself, and how we are often deceived into forfeiting our destiny because of others not understanding our authenticity OR our divine assignment. (Or, lack of self awareness... but more on this below).
The enemy to our purpose can come in many forms. It may come in the form of someone you care about making it clear they disapprove of your decisions (You're wearing that? You're friends with her? Your dating who? You're working where?!)
The list goes on.
The danger in taking someone else's opinion (even if this someone loves you and pleads they "know" what's "best" for you) and using it to determine the course of your life is that:
They don't know what's best for you. 99% of people on this Earth barely know what's best for them. Sorry to break it to you if this is a new revelation in your life.
SO-- if we can't rely on others around us to mirror who we are, what do we do then?! How are we to manage this crazy circus called life and live in our unique purpose and calling as moms?
Well, friend, you're in luck. I have some ideas for you that have helped me along my journey. Take 'em. Leave 'em. If they help you, share 'em!
Here we go:
4 Tips to Help You Discover Your Own Size Heels (Purpose) in Life
Do you know you? Do you know who God created you to be? Not who your father, mother, or the lady at the corner store thinks you should be? If not, here's a hint on how you can know yourself more intimately: who were you when you were a kid? ...before people older and "wiser" told you they knew better for your path than you? Did you naturally lead? Did you dance like no one was watching? Were you the organizer? ...the encourager? Think back to when you were the happiest--when you woke up excited about your life. And do those things again! (As long as, of course, they cause no harm to others!)
Release the Lies
Have you ever been attacked for being too ___________ (fill in the blank)? Unfortunately, many people close to you can plant seeds of doubt in your mind, causing you to abandon your true identity when they harshly judge you for your natural inclinations (for being you). For instance, I was often punished from some people in my life for being "too ambitious as a mom" (what the helicopter does that even mean? Does being a mother change your anointing? NO.) God revealed to me that He loved who I was and that I was, in fact, designed to glorify Him with that strength, and that certain people who were not living their purpose were turned off by that. See those two "truths"? HUGE DIFFERENCE. Choose the truth that resonates with your heart; release the lies.
What were you told? ...That you were too loud? ...Too intense, too ambitious? Friends--know yourself. Claim your power. They're (critics, strangers, people from your past) not strong enough to define you. That's an inside job. (Have no idea where to start here? Try the Meyer's Briggs personality test--it's fun, free, and if you answer honestly, will give you some words that'll help shape your identity).
Embrace Your Own Size Heels
This is the fun part. Once you take some time to look into your past (what did I enjoy as a kid; who am I naturally), release the lies that are in conflict with that TRUTH, now you get to go shopping, girl!! Okay, this is a metaphor, but now you get to try on YOUR OWN SIZE HEELS. Slip 'em on, practice your catwalk. Just like in Cinderella, your heel is yours, girl. No one is coming in to "steal your prince", lol. In other words, no one can steal your destiny because God didn't make them to fit your shoes! He only offers grace to that which HE anoints! Stop trying to be like anyone else but your beautiful self.
Be Savage with Boundaries
I didn't say be a mean person. But be stern. Once you know who you are and who God created you to be; it may be time to revoke access to anyone who does not support or love that version of you. How do you know if they do? Well, God's given us the gift of discernment; you will feel it. And, if they poke fun at your anointing? Big giveaway--they aren't your fans. Just like how a mother protects her baby in utero, it is our duty to protect our dreams; our destiny. Don't just give anyone access into your ultrasounds! LOL. Only let those in who have earned your trust. Everyone else will have to watch on the sidelines and see the miracles God works in your life.
Remember this. If you are depressed, sad, or lethargic for when you wake up after a good night's sleep, that's a sign you're not on the right path; the path God has for you. Partner with Him, do some soul searching, be honest, and give yourself a hug.
I'll leave you with this African proverb:
“When there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do you no harm.”
Stay strong, friends.
The world needs your light.
Tools from Monica to become your best self as a busy mom: