How I Healed My Nervous System as a Busy Mom + 5 Simple Tips 👠🌿

Monica Bencomo
4 hours ago
4 min read

Diaper changes. Carpool lines. Date nights. Figuring out what's for dinner? (Again). Laundry piling up. Grocery store runs. Work. Emails. Soccer practices.

And that's not even the half of it.

Modern moms have to do list that at times, seem impossible to complete.

The pressure to do it all as a mom, combined with unhealed experiences from our past can leave our nervous system constantly on edge. 😵‍💫

Can you relate?

My Story

I struggled with anxiety most of my life. After going through some intense experiences early in my life, my subconscious mind learned something that was cemented pretty deep: It's not safe to rest. Stay on guard. Protect yourself.

And while this state of fight or flight is absolutely necessary when you are, say, being chased by a tiger, it is absolutely unnecessary and damaging to your body to live in this state of hyper vigilance when you're sitting on the couch trying to plan your day.

Around age 21, I became desperate to heal this in me...why was I never calm? Why did I never feel safe? I was sick and tired of being on edge for no apparent reason.

I decided to go to the library (one of my favorite things to do!) and got a personal development book. I happened to be off of school and work that Saturday and I read the entire book in one afternoon.

I was hooked.

Why haven't I learned this before? I thought. Why don't they teach this in schools? I was joyfully optimistic but also angry I was just now learning tools to improve my life in ways I'd been yearning for (mentally and spiritually).

You see, I'd already lost the weight and "gotten my life together" (for the most part). I'd lost the forty pounds I'd put on due to emotional eating. I was in the process of finishing my college degree. I was married to my best friend. I was following my passions, performing as a professional dancer every chance I could. I was indulging in healthy hobbies like bike riding and had several friends who loved me.

So, what gives?

Turns out, all the work I had done doing the above (combined with years of therapy) had helped me in many ways, but honestly was sort of like putting a band aid on the wound of years of living in fight or flight.

So...what is the solution?

After becoming a mom, I realized I needed to take my healing journey to the next level. I wasn't aiming for perfection, but I wanted to give my kids a calm, healthy, happy version of myself. I discovered a missing key--THE missing key that's made me a better me --nervous system regulation.

Here are the tools I used to regulate my nervous system as a busy mom...finally!

🌿 5 Simple Ways Busy Moms Can Reset Their Nervous System

Note: These small practices help stimulate the Vagus Nerve, which signals safety and calm to the body.

You can do them in just a few minutes—even with your babies around.

1️⃣ Take Slow Deep Breaths 🌬️

Deep breathing is one of the fastest ways to calm your body. When in fight or flight, our breath shallows. Try this simple pattern: • inhale through your nose for 4 seconds• hold for 2 seconds• exhale slowly for 6 seconds. Slow breathing tells your nervous system that you are safe.

2️⃣ Move Your Body 💪

As a certified trainer, this is my favorite one! Movement helps release stress hormones like cortisol that build up in the body. You don’t need a full workout. Try:

• 20 squats• jumping jacks• dancing to a song• a quick walk outside

Even a few minutes of movement can shift your mood.

Need (and ready) for a fitness program even the busiest mom can succeed in? Try my Mommy Makeover Challenge.

3️⃣ Get Sunlight ☀️

Stepping outside for natural light helps regulate your circadian rhythm, which affects mood, sleep, and energy. Try stepping outside for a few minutes in the morning.

Fresh air and sunlight can make a surprising difference.

4️⃣ Spend a Moment in Nature 🌿

Nature has a calming effect on the nervous system. Simple ideas include:

• standing barefoot in grass• sitting outside with your coffee• watching your kids play outside• touching plants or trees.

Even a minute or two outside can help your body relax.

5️⃣ Speak Encouraging Words Over Yourself 🙏

Somewhere along the line, people (and perhaps ourselves) taught us out of self love. Let's retrain our minds to think positively about ourselves. Touch your hands on your heart and practice saying loving affirmations to yourself. Practice gratitude to calm your heart. We include a morning gratitude practice in our morning homeschool worksheet. The earlier we learn these habits, the better.

Bonus Moms Wear Heels tips: Singing, humming, and laughing (not at other's expense which is low vibration) can also help signal to your body that you are safe, aiding in a more calm and regulated nervous system. 🩷