• Monica Bencomo

Motherhood NOT Martyrdom; Finding Balance With Motherhood and Your Dreams






Ever since becoming a mother I have been reflecting on this question:


What is that balance between being the BEST moms we can be yet NOT completely losing ourselves in the process?

How do we manage to keep some gas in the tank just for us; our dreams, our goals, our vision...as mothers with all the overwhelming responsibility of, well, raising the next generation?


This is no small question.


And so this will be no small answer.


But, here's a blog post that'll hopefully get us closer to discovering these answers for our own families.


I have been blessed and trusted with responsibility of raising 3 children. And with my amazing role as a mother, I've also been trusted with gifts, talents, creativity--we all have. Our gifts, by the way, are the things we do with the least amount of effort. It's our job to discover and hone our gifts; doing this unleashing our true potential, and glorifies God.


The challenge we all face as mothers is figuring out what amount of energy to place in certain compartments of our lives; depending on the season.

For example: when you have a newborn, you most likely won't be called by God to put more energy into growing your business. Or, another example, when you are breastfeeding, you may not be called to get your body fat percentage down to 8% (doing this robs you and baby of precious milk. If you want to know how I'm safely losing weight and maintaining my supply, check out this post).


Here's the thing--


The fact that 1) we all have very unique lifestyles and 2) we all are in different seasons in our lives and 3) we all have VERY unique gifts and anointing-- it would be not only futile, but dangerous to compare your lifestyle to ANYONE else's.


This means that what works for Suzy in terms of finding balance between being a great mom and going after her dreams and nurturing her creative juices may indeed work for her, but most likely won't work for you. We all have unique blueprints necessary for success and, well, a good life.


So, what do we do then to answer the question: how do we go after our dreams and be the best moms we can be?


To start the quest to find the answer for you, it's imperative that you go within to discover your own answers. Have the courage to get quiet, ask God the questions you are longing to hear answered, and LISTEN. Seriously...listen.


A lot of the women I coach do not like when I give them this direction. Many prefer a 'one size fits all' sort of quick fix with life's most challenging questions.


But embarking on this journey of trusting yourself and partnering with God will reap better results than copying someone else's idea of a balanced lifestyle. Trust me on this one.


So, let's start here:


What can you do today--even if just 10 minutes after you get the kids to bed--that invests in one of your dreams, goals, or creative urges? For instance; can you begin the research on how to start that blog? Can you discipline yourself to read that book collecting dust on the shelf instead of Netflix and chilling? Or can you do a quick workout to invest in your physical well-being?


Refuse to allow yourself to be overwhelmed with the question posed above. Instead, go within, ask God to partner with you in finding your family's version of balance, and begin. Today. Just START! After a long day of investing in your beautiful family (and for some, a career too), invest in YOU, mom. Remember, even 5 minutes is better than no minutes in terms of filling your cup.


XO,


Monica


Like this post? Watch my TEDx talk where I go into the topic of finding balance as mother in more detail.



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